Projects

Yes a New Year is encroaching and usually at this time one makes a "resolution." Well, my resolution I guess started when I started this blog. And lo and behold after a few weeks and/or months I have failed at my resolution. Although I never wrote down any goals for myself. Maybe that was my problem, they were all in my head? Well there are many things in my head, and maybe they got misfiled. So I am not one to indulge in the commercialization of "New Year's Resolutions", but maybe a small goal. One that makes time for just me and gives just me some satisfaction, as well as someone else a home made item to enjoy. My husband of whom I just adore, surprised me with a sewing machine for Christmas. Nothing too fancy. But it is just perfect.

Since we have a daughter, now I can overwhelm her with goodies from my creative hand. First thing? A Pillowcase Dress and fabric shoes to match. Yes. Super adorable. She isn't walking yet, so I am still able to get away with plain fabric for her shoes. Soon though I might have to get the nobly stuff for the soles. You know the kind that is on the kids footed pajamas. I got the free patterns from a website you can find here. Really great photos and great patterns and templates. I still consider myself a beginner, even though I have made my children each a quilt, some fleece blankets and a pioneer costume for my son (12months old). Just yesterday I did my first buttonhole! I have been using a sewing machine since early elementary, and I had never made a buttonhole. Seriously. It was so much easier than I imagined. I think it was my machine though. It has a foot, and easy to follow directions. "One step" is what the sales guy told my husband. Now if only I could find more free time to indulge in my mounds of scrap fabric.

Christmas Time

Christmas is so much more of a lovely time with just our nuclear family. We can sit and sip some bubbly while opening silly gifts. Okay, so some of them are not so silly. I got to see great faces on my kids, and my husband. Isn't that what it's all about? Yes.

Heater

I never thought I would like a heated blanket on my bed. But now that I have one, I love it. I remember using one at my grandmothers house, and I hated the feeling of the wires. It was just weird to me. So my loving husband has been wanting one for a few years now, and I finally gave in. Boy that was the best decision in a while. I set it on preheat while I brush my teeth and take out my contacts, and by the time I climb into bed, it is snugglrific! I dont even need a snuggie! Awesomeness. The coolest part is that it's split down the middle with two controllers, so he can have a different setting than me! And under the same blanket none the less. Everyone should have one of these, unless you enjoy paying for the furnace. Well I guess I have to say I haven't seen our electric bill yet, so I don't know the cost effectiveness, but I sure do like the warmth.

My lovely saturday night...

Why are these teen shows so stinkin funny after the kids go to bed? I want to laugh out, I love it. Crazy kids are funny and silly. I crack up at these little ones acting really well, or really not well. Kid shows have come a long way since I started watching long ago. But I have to say, I love saying "Zach Morris Phone" awesome huh?

Long overdue

I just had a big spiral of chaos. These past two months I have been living on the edge of a meltdown at all times. My emotions are so out of control, and I am just now regaining that control. Control is not something I must have, but a semblance of order is nice. I have been making good progress with regards to many things, but I have had help. A wonderful, kind, understanding and uber patient, godly Man is my mate. He is proud of me when I make a judgment call, in the midst of a crazy tornado. Proud? wow, thats not what I would have called it, I would have called it epic failure. But he is on the outside looking in, not interior. I guess if I was on the outside I might say the same thing, but I have the intimate knowledge of it all. But life since being derailed is still good. I still have food, shelter and health. My babies are healthy and safe. There is a joy to be had in the middle of the muddy mess of the spiral of chaos. If I can grab ahold, and cling to that joy then and only then will life truly make sense.

Can Of Worms

Opening a can of worms is either good or bad. I am not sure where that saying came from, but unless you have actually physically opened a can of worms, you may not know what it really means. Not even sure which kind of can of worms. Real live worms? or the fake surprise jump out at you kind? Either way, they are unpredictable when you open the lid and look inside. I guess I am not sure what to think about the whole thing. On one hand, if you are honest and open with people anyways, you shouldn't have any cans to open. But, on the other hand if there were never any cans to open, life might not be as interesting. I wish wholeheartedly that I didn't have to bear this burden of my can of worms. I wish for such bad thing to happen so that I can avoid the situation of the burden. I must hold my can unopened for the time being, but I fear that those involved can see the glimmer of the can and are burdened by the curiosity of what is inside. I am not skilled in hiding most things all the time. I cannot be vulnerable and hedged at the same time. It takes so much mental capacity to maintain it all together. I have a Hand to rest in, and a God given husband to physically hedge for me. But even that feels not enough at times. I have such a loving husband who know my burden almost to its fullest, and he isn't afraid to show his protecting hand. That is where I can rest and know I am safe. So in time the can that I carry will either be avoided my the situations of life, or it will be opened with all the glory that is jumping, wiggling, writhing, slithering nastiness.

Travel

I always seem to think I have things under control before we leave for travel. Until the day before, then I start freaking out, because I just know I am gonna forget something. But it does not matter if we forget something. Just remember that grandparents will buy anything that we need!! And if the house isn't in perfect condition when we leave, its not a big deal. Think calm thoughts. Think calm thoughts. breathe in, hold, breathe out. *sigh* Traveling also gets my tummy into knots. The stress of it all doesn't always equal the reward. But we do this for the family that cannot afford to come see us. But what if we couldn't afford to come to see them? We might be in that predicament soon. I think the grandparents will still whine and beg for us to come see them. But plane tickets are expensive, and kids are just not that fun to travel with. OY. At least the laundry is done.