Length

The length of time I've had this feels like forever. It's only been a few months of constant issue, but still; forever.
It's now considered chronic. Really? I thought only old people had chronic stuff. I'm not yet 30 and I've had to take, old man pills and old woman cream. You would think I was 65!! But alas, no I'm not yet 30. I have 3 small children to care for in addition to my husband. I am so incredibly thankful for my husband. He is understanding, patient, kind, helpful. Not always perfectly, but he is wonderful.
I wish I could say I was persevering through this with a happy serving heart. I wish I could say I wasn't selfish most of the time. I wish I could say I poured into my kids all the strength I have.
I am a flawed pitiful sinner. I am selfish. I love myself. Why? I'm such a awful person. I wouldn't like me if I knew me. So why do I love myself so? Because I am me and I'm a big nasty sinner.
I am covered in blood washed linen. I'm enveloped in a flood of grace. Christ is my focus (not perfectly). Christ's strength fights for me. I am pursued by Love. I'm forgiven much. I'm forgiven ALL. I'm rescued from ME.
The length of time I have to endure this? I don't know. But I do know God that will carry me through anything. He will refine me into the person he wants me to be. The person I am made to become. ME. As long as that takes. It might take my whole life.