5.9.12

Deep

I feel like I could cry. I feel I could curl up and hide. I feel not so much like myself, but as a shell. Myself is deep inside of this shell, waiting. Waiting for what I'm not so sure. The pains I have been experiencing have gone on for too long. Those pains that just pick at you and taunt you every second of every moment. My thoughts are clouded by the pains. I'm unable to concentrate for long, although my attention span was short to begin with.

Not that things get boring, its just the clouds get in the way and I cannot see past my nose. I guess that's why I feel like myself is buried so deep. So deep I can't find a way out? Or maybe I'm so deep I'm stuck. Either way, I'm a shell at the moment. Not a very hard shell at that, the kind that's able to be dented.

Lord help this shell to survive. Give me the strength to provide a loving shelter for those in my home. Give me the patience to discipline when needed. Lord help my responses, and curb my reactions.
It's through Christ's finished work on the cross that I can pray this,
Amen

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